Expansion Comes Before Decision: How to Design a Career (and Life) You Actually Love

Most women think they’re stuck because they can’t make a decision.

They think:

• I need to figure out what I want.
• I need to choose the right next move.
• I need clarity before I act.

But more often than not, the problem isn’t decision-making.

It’s that you’re trying to choose from a list that’s too small.

Step One: Remembering What You Want

The first place most women have to begin isn’t strategy.

It’s desire.

Somewhere along the way, you stopped asking yourself what you want.

You became responsible. Practical. Efficient.

You learned to choose what makes sense.

And slowly, your dreaming got smaller.

Not because you lack ambition —

but because you adapted.

If you don’t know what brings you joy anymore, you’re not behind.

You’re just disconnected.

That’s the first layer.

Step Two: Noticing the Box

Once you start dreaming again, something uncomfortable happens.

You notice the limits.

The voice that says:

• That’s unrealistic.
• You can’t do that.
• That’s not for people like you.
• You should be grateful for what you have.

Most women don’t lack ideas.
They lack permission.

We all dream inside invisible structures — expectations, conditioning, past experiences. Until you see the box, you don’t realize how small it is.

That’s the second layer.

Step Three: Expansion

This is where it gets fun.

Expansion is not about choosing.
It’s not about committing.
It’s not about burning your life down.

It’s about play.

A simple way to stretch your thinking:

1. Build the best version of what you already do.

If this path was exciting, what would have to be true?

2. Imagine that path no longer exists.

If you couldn’t do it anymore, what would you explore? Remember, it has to be exciting to you.

3. Remove the rules entirely.

If money, reputation, responsibility, and practicality weren’t factors — what would you want?

The point isn’t to pick one.

The point is to realize you don’t have to.

You get to design your life.

You get to pull pieces from each possibility.

You get to weave something uniquely yours.

But you can only do that well when you understand what actually lights you up.

Alignment Isn’t a Future Destination

So many women are waiting.

Waiting until the promotion.
Waiting until the business works.
Waiting until the kids are older.
Waiting until they feel “ready.”

But alignment isn’t built at the finish line.

It’s built daily.

Through conscious choice.
Through bringing more of what you want into your life now.
Through small, intentional prototypes instead of one giant leap.
The goal matters.

But loving your life along the way matters more.

If You’re Trying to Decide…

Ask yourself:

Am I stuck because I don’t know what to choose?
Or am I stuck because I haven’t expanded enough yet?

Decision comes after expansion.
Clarity comes after play.

And when you allow yourself to think bigger — especially in the presence of other women who say “yes, and…” instead of “be realistic” — something shifts.

The field gets wider.

And suddenly, you’re not choosing from default.

You’re designing from desire.